roughness..

So a lot of things have happened since my husband left back in October... but man oh man I would love a break right about now... I mean it is getting to the point to where I am not sure if I am having a really bad dream... or if all of this is true.... I mean sometimes I say to myself... this all can't really be happening to me right!? I mean there's no way one person can handle all of this... and then my Nana tells me that God only gives us what we can  handle... and everything is a test of faith... well God can a girl get a break?? I mean I'm kind of on my wits ends... lol... but I know that in a few months I will hopefully look back at this and say... man you freaked out over everything chick!! What was you thinking!!! But right now those do not look like words that I would say lol. But we will see... everything is different when you husband is home... its all smooth and what not :) But the other thing that I have had problems with is the fact that no one really comes around anymore... and when they do come around... we really don't laugh and joke like me and my friends back home do... it makes it hard... well there are a few friends here that I can laugh with like that... but there's not near as many as back home... I mean I just don't know what to do anymore... I want to get out there... make some friends... but you know there is really no one that can touch the friendships that I have with my FBH (friends back home) I guess I expect too much of people maybe??? Am I wrong for thinking that if I bend over backwards for a friend then they should at least come over and hang out for longer than 20 minutes when all they are doing after they leave my house is going to chill at their place??? Whatever lol dueces