25 October 2010

this town.......

Before we moved to J Vegas NC, I was a very happy go lucky woman. Nothing really made me upset. I never said things like "I hate people" I loved everyone. BUT. This town, this 'cursed' if you will , town has changed me.  It through me for a loop and shook my whole being.  I am actually seeing the true ugliness that is inside of people.  This makes me sick. I miss home, but only because I can feel more and more of me fading away. I am out of my element here, and to be frank... I don't think I will ever feel right being here. Yes, my husband is here. Yes, my kids are here. Yes, I have some friends here.  Like the black plague this town is consuming my body, breaking me down, tearing me up inside. I didn't think that a town could do that to someone. I would rather stay home than go out. I don't feel like I am me when I am out and about. I never look at the passers by I just look at the ground and hope that no one pisses me off.  To me, that is a very sad thing to admit. Usually I talk to the cashiers and anyone around me. Not now though. I do what I can to get back home as quick as I can. Ugh. I hate this feeling. I have talked to other wives and they say that they feel the same way. So, with that said I know that I am not crazy lol.  
Guess this was just a quick rant. That's all for now.

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